Long Ago BereavedDerby Sands offers support to anyone affected by the loss of a baby, no matter how long ago the loss was. We acknowledge that the pain and heartache of baby loss can last a lifetime and for some, the full extent of their bereavement may not hit them until much later in life.In years gone by, stillborn babies were whisked away from their mothers immediately by the midwife. Parents were not given the opportunity to look at, hold or name their baby and many were not even told whether their baby was a boy or girl. Parents were expected to go home and get on with life, and certainly weren’t given the opportunity to hold a funeral or talk about their loss with family, friends or health care professionals.Having talked to many parents who lost their babies in the 1950’s, 1960’s and 1970’s we know that the “long ago bereaved” never forget about their baby and many yearn to know what happened to them. Many feel guilty, desperately sad or even angry that they never had the opportunity to acknowledge or honour their baby.It is never too late to remember and acknowledge your baby and we can help you to do this in the following ways: 1.The Derby Sands Baby Memorial Garden: on June 29th 2014 our “Always Loved Never Forgotten” Baby memorial opened at Markeaton Crematorium. You can visit the garden during normal opening hours of the crematorium grounds – it will provide somewhere peaceful for you to reflect and acknowledge your loss. If you are local to Derby you can also apply to have your babies name written on the memorial. Please visit the memorial section on this website for further details.2.We hold a support group once a month which you may like to come to. Although most the parents there have experienced baby loss in the last 10 years or so, every now and then we have people attend who lost their baby much longer ago. You would be more than welcome to come to the group and have a drink and a chat and, if you wish, share your story with us. This in itself can be incredibly therapeutic.3.The National Sands website has a page about being bereaved a long time ago, including information about how to trace a baby’s resting place, click here to find out more.4.National Sands have a Baby Memorial Garden at the National Arboretum in Staffordshire, click here to see the garden. Many people find it very helpful to go there to reflect on their loss. You can also take a decorated stone with you (approx. 7cm width) with your baby’s name on and lay it in the garden.5.If you feel that it would be beneficial to receive some counselling then there are several places that could help you. It doesn’t matter how long ago your loss was. On our website we have a contacts page which gives details of places where you may be able to receive counselling.6.If you would like to try and find your babies resting place then a wonderful charity called Brief Lives – Remembered may be able to help you. Please visit their website here for further information.
Supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby andpromoting research to reduce the loss of babies’ lives