Personal Experiences
Supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby and promoting research to reduce the loss of babies’ lives
Created by Barry Thompson © 2010 - 2019 Derby Sands, all rights reserved
Made with Xara
5 April 2019
Charity registration number 299679
James Wilson’s Story 17th May 2011 - At just over 28 weeks pregnant with our first baby, excited for what the future held, little did we knew that today would be the day that would change our lives. The pregnancy had been fairly normal, but we had been told from blood test results that I had a low PAPP-A hormone (with apparently nothing to worry about and would need a growth scan at 28 weeks). The world we live in is controlled by internet and Google and with hindsight I wished I hadn’t even looked – potential issues were growth restrictions and stillbirth, but never did I imagine that it would happen to us. We heard the words that we never imagined hearing and the rest seems like a blur, going from being so happy and not wanting to know the sex of our baby to being told there was no heartbeat. It was heartbreaking. 19th May, we went into hospital and I was induced to deliver. At 1:09am on the 20th May 2011, James was born. We made the decision not to see him straight away, but lots of photographs were taken by our mums so we could look at when we felt able. We did spend time with him and had a blessing by the hospital chaplain. We were unable to hold him as he was very delicate and small. Looking back now, I wish I had been given the opportunity to hold James. All decisions made at the time were right for us as a couple. We chose to have a full post mortem to determine a cause of death as we felt that we needed to understand why this had happened. My placenta had not attached correctly and had therefore meant that James was not receiving its full benefit. Despite dealing with the loss of James, I was coming to terms with the death of my Nana too. It was a huge comfort to me as I know he is not alone. I will always remember how happy my Nana was when we told her we were expecting and the smile on her face will never leave me. We knew that we wanted to try for another baby and I fell pregnant in December 2011 but unfortunately I had an early miscarriage. Our time was yet to come and we welcomed James’ little sister into the world in October 2012. The pregnancy was closely monitored with regular scans and appointments - it was a very strange feeling to be pregnant again and trying to remain positive throughout a very nervous time was difficult. It brought back so many memories and was a huge relief once she was here safe and well. We will tell Zara about her big brother as she gets older, she visits his grave and understands that he is part of our lives. The past 3 years have been made so much easier by having fantastic support from family, friends, understanding midwives and Derby Sands and for this I will be eternally grateful. Written by James’ mummy, Kelly Wilson, 2014