Personal Experiences
Supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby and promoting research to reduce the loss of babies’ lives
Created by Barry Thompson © 2010 - 2019 Derby Sands, all rights reserved
Made with Xara
5 April 2019
Charity registration number 299679
A Story of Incredible Determination In 2008, me and my husband decided to try for a family and were shocked to discover a positive pregnancy test the first month of trying. I've always been active by running and playing netball and didn't see why this should have stopped because I was pregnant. I mean you always hear 'she's only pregnant', and people like Paula Radcliffe continue. However at my 20 week scan, the sonographer could not get accurate measurements so sent me to see the consultant. My blood pressure was sky high and the baby was measuring small for dates. I had a number of admissions in hospital over the next few weeks. Unfortunately no one actually told me the extent or the potential problem we could encounter and I actually tried to continue exercising in some form or other. When I was 25 +6 weeks pregnant I developed severe preeclampsia. I was rushed into theatre for an emergency c section. Our son Joseph was born 1st December 2008 and was instantly rushed to NICU where we experienced a major roller coaster of emotion throughout his time there. Joseph put up an amazing fight for life but devastatingly, on 24th December, Joseph suffered a blot clot on the brain and on 26th December 2008 we had to make the gruelling decision to turn his life support machine off. Joseph was born too small and too soon. After our loss and after numerous medical tests on myself, we desperately tried for another child. Due to my emotional and other gynaecological problems it just wasn't happening. So we were referred to the fertility clinic at the hospital. We had a number of IUI rounds and I took the fertility drug Clomid but to no avail. We were then referred for IVF for unexplained fertility. As we were waiting for confirmation from the IVF clinic, I found I had naturally conceived in 2011. We were over the moon, so called the hospital to confirm we didn't need the IVF. Unfortunately at approximately 7 weeks I miscarried. We got back in touch with the hospital to try IVF again and were told that as we conceived naturally it would be unethical to carry out IVF. Upset about the prospect, we continued with life and the following month found out I had conceived naturally again. Yet again at about 7 weeks I miscarried. Yet again we carried on with life but we were still not getting pregnant so in Oct 2012 we were referred again for IVF. We had our first round of IVF December 2012 and were due to go back for our pregnancy test on 28th December, but on 24th December I began to bleed. I was told by the clinic not to despair and to still do a pregnancy test on 28th but unfortunately this was negative. The IVF had failed. Yet again we carried on with life and in January 2013 I found out I had naturally conceived but yet again on 10th march 2013 (Mothering Sunday) I started to miscarry. Totally annoyed and frustrated by our situation I went to the doctors and was referred to the miscarriage clinic. An appointment came through for 16th May 2013. This would hopefully get us more tests to see why we had problems in pregnancy with Joseph and the repeated miscarriages. We then had notification that the appointment was rescheduled for June. Our hearts sank cos we just wanted to know what and why it was happening. However on May 10th 2013 I had a positive pregnancy test and due to my feelings of letting my husband down, I thought I'm not going to tell him and if I miscarry I will then manage that disappointment on my own. However, due to my history I have to attend the fetal medicine clinic as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test so as I continued with life I just assumed I would miscarry but eventually had to tell my husband and contact the hospital. The hospital made me a scan appointment when I was 8 weeks. The appointment was on the Monday but we still had the recurrent miscarriage appointment for the Friday that week. On attending the scan, then blood tests and an appointment with fetal medicine they advised us to cancel the miscarriage appointment. The pregnancy continued, I was given a cocktail of drugs and weekly appointments, numerous scans etc. The pregnancy had its ups and downs and at 32 weeks I was given a steroid injection as I had started to develop pre eclampsia symptoms. However I managed to stave off and our beautiful daughter, Joseph’s baby sister Nancy was born healthy via caesarean section at 36 weeks on 24th December 2013. The irony is that 5years to the date of Joseph dying and us walking out of the hospital with empty arms we were walking out of the same hospital with a healthy live baby From having Joseph and his premature death I've always felt I had a part of my heart missing. Nancy has not filled that hole but has definitely made the hole smaller. I've experienced the death of a child and have spent the last 5 years trying to have another child. But it is only now I fully feel Joseph’s absence. Truth be known, I really did not know what I truly had missed out on until bringing Nancy home. Now is just another journey... With questions like “is she your first?” Written by Joseph’s mummy, Dawn Blatherwick, Nov 2014